Insomnia FTL

So the past 3 mornings I have woken up on my own at 8:47 on the dot. That is a very odd coincidence. A few nights ago I only got a tiny bit of sleep, so I assumed I'd sleep in this morning because I was so tired... no go. So I was wide awake during the morning (and I am not a morning person, trust me) then the afternoon comes and my eyes are sore and heavy yet I cannot nap. So now it's 2 a.m. and I cannot fall asleep even though I feel utterly exhausted. I have to be up early for 2 appointments tomorrow morning as well, so this is not going to be good. And you know how insomnia goes, your mind keeps going and won't shut off. I have taken some Benedryl and we will see how long it takes to zonk me out...

I am very curious to see what my lithium level will be. I guess I"ll have to wait until Friday though. Either my level is getting high, or I'm just having oh so fun side effects from the dose increase. My level jumps like crazy. On a Monday it was like .4ish and then on Friday in the hospital they did it again and it was .99. I hate being medicated. It strips me of my creativity. I'm foggy, and I think people around me must be able to tell I have issues because I forget what I'm saying halfway through a sentence, or my mind is thinking one thing and it's coming out all wrong. When I am "manic" I get all sorts of creativity. That's why I guess a lot of artists/actors/etc suffer from mental illness... it gives them that creativity. I miss mine... I long for it.