Angry and Bitter

So tonight the hubby goes out to party, which I cannot partake in because I am suffering so much (which noone seems to notice by the way). All the power to him. I encouraged it and was happy for him to go and have fun. I just assumed doing as bad as I have been, that he would have thought to call me maybe even once to check up and make sure I was still alive... but no. And when I mention it I get a response along the lines of "I didn't think of it until it was too late." He has a right to be bitter with me. I got into a situation and didn't tell him right away. I have an issue with confrontation. When I was raped, I stayed around. When I was domestically abused, I took it for 3 years. So when someone tried something with me, I didn't mention it right away. I have no idea why, it just scares me. So he's angry at me, and I completely understand. But why make me pay now? Why shut me out and ignore me and give me the silent treatment and treat me like trash when I am already suffering so much? I know it's hard to understand the depth of someone's suffering unless you have gone through it, but I have thoroughly explained it. This is the worst time ever, and he's the only person I have to turn to, as I am far away from my family. So when he decides he hates me and turns on me I am REALLY alone, more so than I normally feel. So now I am bitter, because I feel like I have no support system during this very trying time. I feel traumatized, minimized, and maybe it's just my anger (Since I am BPD and tend to jump between love and hate) but I don't know if I can forgive him not being here for me during this. This is major to me. I don't see how someone could not grasp the severity of my situation. I couldn't realize if the distance started at his recent anger, or if it's been that way for a while now, and I guess I think it is a little bit of both. Catch 22 I surmise.