So I've been stewing over the hard time every health care profession I see is giving me over my "refusal to take meds". Let me expand. I am not REFUSING meds, just heavy meds (antipsychotics, lithium, etc). I was quite willing to start Zoloft and give it a chance (even though I don't have much faith in SSRI's as I have been on so many of them in the past), and had a nasty bout of serotonin syndrome. My NP (I think I mentioned this before) didn't believe me and told me I didn't really have it, even though an ER doc and pharmacist saw me during it and both confirmed it (I believe pharmacists over most docs about meds - they know the chemical makeup so much better).
I hate being called a liar or hypochondriac, really hits a nerve. Anyhow, every time these people (NP, psychiatrist, therapist who runs my Day Therapy program) talk about how I am "non-med compliant and refusing meds" and how I will not get better unless I take them or it will just be a lot harder to recover, I simply repeat again that I am not refusing, I am terrified. Three horrible incidents with meds in a 2 month span induced a med phobia with me - not that I liked them much to begin with.
So, I have asked numerous times how to get past this and take the Zoloft or any other med for that matter because I panic even with OTC meds now, and I am told to just take it. That is not how other phobias are treated. If someone is agoraphobic *cough* they are told to be home alone, then maybe walk to the mailbox, then stay outside 5 minutes, and gradually work up to confronting their fears - exposure and response, right? So why is this being treated so differently? It really peeves me to be taken as "hostile" even though I explain it every time. I can not be the only person in the world who has had a medication phobia, comeon! *stomps feet*
No comments:
Post a Comment